Compliment circle

We thought this might make for a good start to the day, or a nice end to the day (or both) in order that everyone receives and gives compliments marking the start to a great day, or a great end to a not-so-great day. Giving and receiving compliments support us to feel good, function well and think outside of ourselves for what’s good and right.

It’s also quick and simple! Once your tamariki understand compliments and how to give authentic compliments, they’ll get better at it and this creates the habit.

Your amazing tamariki 

If your tamariki are new to compliments…

First up, it’s worth doing a few 101’s around what a compliment is, and then what makes a good compliment. Here’s our thinking:

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Kōrero with tamariki about:

• What is a compliment?

• What makes a good compliment?

• How do we feel when we get a great compliment?

• How do we feel when we give a great compliment? - Iterate the science of wellbeing for tamariki - it’s good to get compliments, but feels great to give them too! Everyone wins!

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Our 'I am' and 'I can' compliments…​

• Ask tamariki to think about their “I am…” - these are the attributes that we have within us that are always there, they are part of what makes us who we are - our eye colour, our ethnicity, our height. While it can definitely be cool to receive compliments on these things, they’re not as powerful as the “I cans”…

• Kōrero with tamariki about the “I cans” which are the personal attributes we can always work on, can continue to improve, can grow and change - these are the meaningful compliments and can make a difference in us continuing and improving what we know, do, and try.

• The “I cans” are the deeper-level compliments we want to focus on.

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And compliments always come from a place of kindness (rather than trying to impress someone, be noticed…) So there’s a couple of things we can ask ourselves when we compliment someone - is this compliment supporting this person to ‘grow’ and am I being genuine? If the answer is ‘āe’ and ‘āe’ then kei te pai!

And then you might want to practice! Pair tamariki up, and ask them to share a compliment with each other and kōrero about how it has felt to give and receive the compliment. Make adjustments as needed, but hopefully, this is a really positive experience.

To support this learning, we suggest you offer some meaningful compliment examples

• You’re working really hard on that painting, I really like the way you're showing your perseverance (I can show perseverance)

• You were brave today when you helped out with your friend who was super upset (I can be brave and I can be helpful)

• I really like the energy you put into your gymnastics (I can put energy into things I do)

• You were dynamite running so hard today at sports. It was super impressive to see your focus! (I can be focussed on things I want to achieve)

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Then there’s the power of repeating the compliment back

Repeating the compliment back reinforces the positive message we’ve received. It's like hitting the "save" button on a pleasant thought, making it more likely to stick around in our mind.
This can be super difficult to do at first, and tamariki might feel awkward (so do adults!) so it is important that you model accepting compliments, not simply brushing them off.

It is a great way for tamariki to practice speaking kindly to themselves. Over time, this practice can contribute to a more positive self-image and increase positive self-talk.
 

And the easy part - playing Compliment Circle!
Use your circle time at the beginning or end of the day for a quick round of compliment circle. Sit in a circle - ask tamariki to turn to the person next to them (so they’re working in a pair) and exchange compliments. Then turn to the person on the other side, and do the same. Another option, that might support more authentic compliments, is inviting tamariki to chose someone in the circle that they would like to compliment, that was it is something authentic that they have genuinely thought about for that person.

Ask tamariki to be mindful for a moment to feel anything that comes with their compliments (both giving and receiving) before moving on to the day or saying haere rā.

Check in as you need to to make sure the compliments are remaining authentic. Revisit the lowdown on compliments, if needed.

To make things easy, print the kaiako card and do your planning later.

Ask tamariki as some take-home learning to give compliments to their whānau members. They might like to use Compliment Circle as part of their kai time with whānau.

Or use the following explainer across your whānau sharing platforms or social media. 

We're learning about compliments and their effect on our wellbeing. Tamariki are learning how to give and receive meaningful compliments. Encourage your tamariki to practice this at home too. Compliments can foster kindness, boost confidence, and create a positive, supportive environment for our tamariki. Share meaningful compliments at home regularly and discuss the emotions felt when giving or receiving a compliment 

Continue to connect your tamariki with activities such as:

• Let’s take our time

• Te Whare Tapa Whā a Day at a Time 

Health and PE Curriculum

Personal health and physical development: A4 - Personal identity

Relationships with other people: C1 - Relationships 

Relationships with other people: C2 - Identity, sensitivity, and respect