Holding haere rā with care

It’s hard to acknowledge the end of the school year brings a mix of feelings for kaiako. There’s the familiar rhythm of winding things down, the rush to get everything finished, and then that quieter moment when you realise you’re about to farewell tamariki you’ve genuinely enjoyed. Children who have made you smile, challenged you in good ways, or taught you something about yourself along the way.

Goodbyes can feel tender. When a tamaiti has left an imprint on your heart, it’s perfectly natural to feel a little sad at the thought of them moving on. That feeling isn’t a sign of over-attachment or lack of professionalism. It’s a sign of the care and connection that make your teaching powerful.

At the very same time, there’s usually a spark of excitement too - for them and for you. They’re stepping into something new. You’re heading into a well-earned break, or welcoming a fresh start with new faces. We rarely feel just one emotion at once, and kaiako are no exception. Sadness and excitement often sit side by side, and both matter.

Understanding what tamariki are feeling

For tamariki, transitions often bring a jumble of feelings as well. Even when they’re ready, keen or curious about what’s next, they can also feel uncertain, sad or unsettled. The behaviour you see in those final days often reflects this mix:

Increased clinginess or big emotions
This can be a sign of trepidation. Tamariki sense change coming and may look to you for extra connection or reassurance. Or sometimes sabotage their amazing time with you, at kura, in order that the challenging emotions, such as sadness, don’t feel so hard.
Silliness, restlessness or testing boundaries
Sometimes excitement shows up in wobbly ways. Big energy doesn’t always have a clear pathway out.
Quieter, more withdrawn behaviour
This can be sadness or simply processing. Not every tamaiti shows strong emotion outwardly.
Sudden bursts of affection or gratitude
These little moments often come when tamariki feel the significance of goodbye but don't quite have the words.

When we tune into the emotion beneath the behaviour, our response becomes softer and more grounded. We can hold the line when needed, while also holding their feelings with generosity.

Making space for both feelings

You can support tamariki beautifully through this transition by modelling exactly what you want them to know:

It’s okay to feel more than one thing at once.
You might name this aloud: “I’m feeling excited for your next step and also a bit sad because I’ll miss seeing you every day.”
Connection doesn’t end just because the class does.
Small gestures - a note, a smile, a moment of reflection - help tanariki understand that relationships matter, and memories stay with us.
Goodbyes are milestones.
Acknowledge what they’ve learned, how they’ve grown, and the effort they’ve put in. This helps them leave with confidence and pride.

Caring for yourself too
When you care deeply about your tamariki, these endings take a bit of emotional energy. It’s ka pai to rest, reflect or feel the pang of missing certain tamariki. It’s also okay to relish the excitement of a new group and the clean slate ahead.

You can hold both, just as tamariki can. That’s part of what makes you steady for them.
As you navigate these final days, remember that the warmth you feel is evidence of a meaningful learning environment - one where relationships flourish, identity is nurtured, and everyone grows. Goodbyes can be emotional because the work you do has deep, connected meaning. And that’s something to feel proud of.